Customer service 'french style'.......

Wow, it has been a while.  Sorry about that.  Problem is I can't possibly recall the last 10 days in any detail, so in summary this is what happened.....

1) I decided to stab myself in the hand one Saturday evening, and ended up experiencing the joy that is French A & E.  Five hours later, and I came out with three stitches and lots of bandages, and then a prescription for more plasters, bandages, paracetemol and antiseptic spray.  The French don't like doing things by half.

2) Bobby the cat caught his first lizard - and it wasn't a small one.  We managed to rescue it though, and here is a picture of it a few days later, none the worse for wear, just missing a small bit of tail.....

3) We had a week of really lovely weather, which even enabled tea and pain au chocolat on the terrace.  :o)  I knew there was a reason we moved here.  I even managed to put a few rows of seed potatoes in the ground.

 4) The chicken house was moved into its final position.....just need to decide on the material for its roof and build an enclosure, just for when we are not there.  Would love them to free range all the time, but with foxes and pine martens regular visitors to the land, it really is not possible.  So when we are not there, they will have a large run to roam in.

 5) Carpenter Henderson has built a couple of coldframes out of scraps of wood that we had lieing around.  So now we can grow lots more seeds!

6) We have lots of wildflowers appearing at La Chabanaise, here are just a few of them. 

Cowslip

cuckoo flower

forget-me-not

purple toothwort

7) We had an afternoon out to visit another English couple - Maria and Brian, who live just across the valley.  Was nice to not have to worry about my grammar and pronunciation (not that Mark ever understands my cockney anyway).

8) We had a meeting with some men from the Conseil Regional, to discuss the bit of land we are interested in, and whether it would be possible to create an access road to our land.  After lots of hand waving, and expressions that only the French can do, it was decided that it just wasn't a viable option due to the slope of the land.  Ah well, back to the drawing board.

9) Have finally got round to creating some youtube videos of the wildlife that we have on our land.  First video uploaded last week, of a female roe deer.  Lots more to come.

10) I had my second French haircut - a tad more successful than the last one, although here you pay extra for conditioner - €5!!!!  Next time I will take my own bottle.

11) I have decided to try and eat less meat.  I don't want to say I will become vegetarian, because at the moment I am not sure I can do it.  But I will see how I get on.  The older I get, the more I have an issue with eating meat - it does upset me really.  Anyway, I am experimenting at the moment, and had my first tofu curry tonight - it wasn't bad at all.  On verra!

12) Today we had our second visit to the social security office, to try and sort out healthcare.  First time round I forgot our bank details, so today I went armed with them and all the other documents they insisted on.  Needless to say they pulled another one out the bag and are now insisting on translations of our birth certificates.  I decided to challenge the guy on this, as the previous lady we had seen had said it wasn't necessary.  At which point he threw his hands in the air and exclaimed 'ah, putain'!  I will leave it up to you whether you decide to translate that.  :o)  Anyway, after disappearing out the back for a few minutes he returned and said they would translate them for us, but it would probably take a long time - I took that as meaning we would be better off getting it done ourselves, so will have to go back for a third time.

Anyway, that has been the last ten days.  To finish, here are a few french gestures you will need to master before coming to visit us - it is a pre-requisite for getting into the country now:

1)  « Alors là / Bof »

The "Gallic shrug" gesture has a number of meanings:

• It's not my fault
• I don't know
• I doubt it can be done
• I don't really agree

Raise your shoulders; hold up your hands, palms out; stick out your lower lip; raise your eyebrows; and say "Moi, je n'y peux rien," "Moi, je n'en sais rien," "Alors là," or simply "Bof !"

2)  French pout

The French pout is a classic French facial gesture which expresses discontent, disdain, disgust... just about any negative emotion beginning with "dis."
To faire la moue, push your lips out and bring them back in, kind of like a quick pucker up to a kiss. A bored expression on the face is a common accompaniment.

3) « Barrons-nous »

To say "Let's get the hell out of here," hold your hands out, palms down, and smack one hand down onto the other. Also known as « On se tire ».

4) « Verre dans le nez »

To indicate that someone is drunk, the French say "Il a un verre dans le nez" or "Il a un coup dans le nez."
Make a loose fist, hold it up in front of your nose, and twist your hand (as you would rev a motorcycle) while tilting your head the other way.

Get practicing!

A toute à l'heure!

Alison
xx